Not the report I wanted

I got "the talk" at daycare today, about BOTH of my kids.  Apparently Ben's been pushing kids around for a while, but yesterday he pushed a much littler child into the window sill, resulting in a bump. He charges at kids, in a playful way, but ends up pushing them to the ground.  Then he goes and hides, which shows he knows he's not supposed to.  Ms. Deena told me this morning, and after that, Ben didn't want to go to Ms. Deena, since she told on him.

Addie's been threatening to bite kids and instead of biting she puts her spit on them.  GROSS. Today she did that to William and then turned around and scratched his fingers.  When I asked what happened she said plain as day, "I told him to leave me alone." Now I don't want to encourage her to act out, but if she was being bothered by a kid and he wasn't getting the clue.... Just now I asked her what she's going to do if someone is bothering her tomorrow and she said, "Tell Ms. Brandy that he's bothering me," so I think she gets it.

Then when I went to Ben's room, Ms. Patrice said, "He had a good morning, until this afternoon when it came time to come inside."  Ben didn't like the idea of that, so he took one of the push cars and promptly ran over one of his friends.  

You know, I try to do the positive behavior support form of parenting, where you praise kids for behavior you want to keep coming and don't "punish" them for doing things wrong.  The idea being that they will do things that makes others and themselves happy.  I try that, I really do.  We say we use the naughty step, but haven't for a long time now.  It's usually more about redirection and apologizing, etc.  I don't know what else to do.  Brian just got home (yes, it's 9:15pm) and I told him about these issues.  He said, "she must get the spitting thing from daycare." Duh, she gets all of it from daycare.