Moments when there aren't answers

Addie is a very curious child. She loves to investigate and understand things. We have conversations at length about her "observations." She's really into observations. At dinner on Monday night after our long trip from Vegas, Addie looked at me directly and asked, "Mommy, what's a booty call?" Muddy laughed and said, "I told her she had to ask you." My answer, "Something some grown ups say, but it's not very nice, ok?" That sufficed. Where did my 3.5 year old get the term booty call from? The ad for the movie "He's just not that into you." Put any term tacked onto booty and you can pretty much guarantee Addie wants to know about it, and say it frequently. It's right up there with "poop."
After her first day of the new daycare, she told me there was a bad girl in her class. I asked why she was bad and Addie explained she had glasses and earrings. (Uh oh, so do I!) She also said she had a scary voice. I asked her to describe it and she tucked her chin down to her neck and said "Aaaaddiieee" in a Darth Vador-esque sound. Then she laughed her head off. I thought she was kidding.
Fast forward to me picking them up on Wednesday and Addie is quick to show me that the bad girl is right there. Yup, indeed there's a girl about Addie's size with glasses and earrings. Addie informed me, "she's the one with the scary voice." Just as she said that, I looked at the little girl and realized that the poor kid has the telltale scar of a tracheotomy!!! I couldn't believe my eyes and my ears as I processed it all together. Here I am the social worker all about treating people with disabilities like everyone else; the same mom who has put her kids in the laps of people who use wheelchairs from early on; the same one who preaches the value of acceptance and my own daughter has identified a difference in a peer and is scared?! Talk about being nominated for mom of the year. I explained to Addie that her voice sounds different because when she was a baby she was sick and it made her voice change. We had a long conversation about how that doesn't mean she shouldn't play with her and how she wouldn't want kids to not play with her because of her seizures. We'll see how she does. My heart just sank for that girl though, who is going to be picked on for being different forever and who hasn't found her "voice" to explain to other kids.
I am pretty damn sure if Addie or Ben had a tracheotomy and the lasting effects of it, that they'd be coached early on about how to address it with their peers, teacher and strangers. Really, Addie even will quip "I have a history of seizures when I have a fever," if someone mentions fevers. My little self-advocate in the making, who is scared by other kid's voices. (Yes, I realize she probably thought the girl was purposely sounding scary and being weird!!)
A special mention to Uncle Jeremy:I'm trying to load your birthday video, I promise. I might end up mailing it to you, if I can't get my internet to load properly from home.