Father's Day

Father’s Day 2008

Yesterday morning, after dropping the kids off at daycare, I went to Target for some little items. While there, I decided to buy all of the Father’s Day cards we need, which total 9. I spent one hour looking at cards. Seriously, one full hour. See what happens when there are no kids around? I have time to actually read and pick and choose. What a treat.
After reading nearly every card in the section, I came to some conclusions. We’ll call this my anthropological study of American Father’s Day celebrations, via greeting cards.

If an alien were to come down to Earth and look only at the Father’s Day cards to see what it means to be a father in 2008, here’s what they would notice. This is scary to me!

• Apparently daughters are only money-grubbing girls who like to shop. They don’t care about their fathers, but merely only how much money Daddy will give them. Then they are nice enough to thank him for that.
• Moms are the ones who really run the family, control everything and make decisions. Apparently Dads need to be treated like one of the children, and need moms’ permission to do things.
• Dads drink lots of beer. They all have beer guts and sit around on the couch with the remote control all day long.
• Dads also fart all of the time, which everyone else in the family finds repulsive. Dads apparently find it funny.
• Dads don’t ever ask for directions and therefore cause undue hardship on their family members while traveling.
• Dads don’t have much going on in their lives: they go to work (in a tie, of course), drink beer, watch TV with remote in hand and golf. That pretty much sums it up. Oh yeah, and of course dole out money to their shopping-addicted daughters.
• Isn’t that sad? Out of hundreds, and I mean hundreds, of cards I can pretty much categorize them into those topics. Occasionally one can swap out golfing for fishing, but you get the idea. Oh and you can also add that Dads “try” to fix things, but ultimately end up breaking whatever needed to be fixed, making it worse. Then Mom fixes it.

When I think about our kids and how they see their Dad, I want them to know a few things. I am sure Addie could rattle off a bunch of things that Brian does and why she loves him. Ben knows these things too. I know them too, but thought it would be a nice Ode to my Husband to write them out.

• Daddy only loves to dance with one or both of the kids. Before they were here, he could listen to music to his heart’s content and never move a muscle. Now, if there’s music on, he’s swinging them around, jumping, spinning, whatever.
• Daddy’s back hurts when he sits on the ground. He does it anyway, just so he can play with them. Sometimes he can convince them to come up to the couch or table to play, but most times he’ll bite the bullet and sit on the ground.
• Daddy has his work clothes and his fun Daddy clothes. He has to change as soon as he gets home, before fun Daddy can come out to play.
• Daddy used to really care about his car and how clean it was inside. He tried to keep this up with our two kids, but realized it was a never-ending battle and now just accepts the fact that crumbs show love and sticky messes show how fortunate we are to have enough to eat and drink.
• Daddy likes the kids’ toys as much as they do. Remember Christmas and my asking him to get involved in the gift picking out? That turned into the train. Addie’s birthday present turned into the all-terrain jeep, which we adults have ridden on as much as the kids have. Now the waterslide. I rest my case. I can pretty much guarantee our kids will have the coolest, greatest, neatest toys invented- and Brian will pick them all out.
• Daddy works really hard and lots of hours so we can have lots of fun together. He misses the kids while he’s at work and wishes he was able to be home more. That’s why our weekends are always so much fun.
• Brian is happiest when he’s got two kids on his lap, cuddled under each arm. It’s times like that when there’s nothing else going on in the world.
• He makes silly songs up, does stomp routines and finds ways to make our kids giggle at any moment.
• He shares his food. Apparently, Daddy’s dinner tastes better when he’s eating it, even though the kids just ate the exact same dinner an hour or two earlier.
• Finally, Brian is always proud of our kids. They never cease to amaze him. Just this morning he told me “Ben would’ve won an award last night.” I asked for what. He responded, “For the most kicks to one’s ribcage in the shortest amount of time.” See, that’s true pride!

I guess I’m one of the lucky ones who didn’t get stuck with one of the greeting card husbands. I can’t imagine life that way.

In closing, just to show a little perspective here, I want to share this story. On Wednesday night my parents came over for dinner. We typically eat around 6:30pm, with hopes that Brian makes it home in time, which is more of a rarity nowadays than a reality. By 7:05 I still hadn’t heard from him. I called him and got his voicemail. When he finally called at 7:15ish, I was frustrated and very short with him on the phone. I knew he wouldn’t be home in time to see Ben before bed, etc. I got off the phone and went back to the dinner table. Addie said to me, “That was Daddy on the phone, right?” “Yup,” I said. “He was calling to make sure we didn’t go on an ambulance, right?” To her, she had no idea that he was late. To our 3 year old, Daddy was checking to make sure we’re safe and happy.

That’s what Addie's and Ben’s Daddy does. That’s all I can ask for.